Joke of the day
+16
Snake
FANTA5M1C
Trinity
Fuffud
Michael
Horizon
Ryleous Arkane (SA_ORION)
Snow
sa_admin
[gT]Griffin
Loyal
Riebens
inflkt
Faaby
Seqan
Raiden
20 posters
Page 9 of 11
Page 9 of 11 • 1, 2, 3 ... 8, 9, 10, 11
Re: Joke of the day
Thank you - I am glad you are so observant
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Trinity- Rear Admiral
- Number of posts : 774
Age : 28
Character RP Name : Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign : SCORPION
Registration date : 2012-01-08
Character sheet
Name: Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign: SCORPION
Assigned Unit: Silver Arrows Command
Re: Joke of the day
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Trinity- Rear Admiral
- Number of posts : 774
Age : 28
Character RP Name : Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign : SCORPION
Registration date : 2012-01-08
Character sheet
Name: Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign: SCORPION
Assigned Unit: Silver Arrows Command
Re: Joke of the day
Hahahah! Brilliant!
Fuffud- Captain
- Number of posts : 814
Age : 27
Character RP Name : Peter Kirkland
Callsign : SA_FUD
Registration date : 2010-06-01
Character sheet
Name: Peter Kirkland
Callsign: SA_FUD
Assigned Unit: Alpha_Wing
Re: Joke of the day
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Trinity- Rear Admiral
- Number of posts : 774
Age : 28
Character RP Name : Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign : SCORPION
Registration date : 2012-01-08
Character sheet
Name: Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign: SCORPION
Assigned Unit: Silver Arrows Command
Re: Joke of the day
Seems a guy was driving for hours thru desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and *splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon me madame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off...."
"Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?"
The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like this"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.
"Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?"
At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"
"Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?"
The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like this"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.
"Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?"
At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
A CNN Reporter, while interviewing a Marine Sniper, asked "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?"
The Marine shrugged and replied "Recoil."
The Marine shrugged and replied "Recoil."
Fuffud- Captain
- Number of posts : 814
Age : 27
Character RP Name : Peter Kirkland
Callsign : SA_FUD
Registration date : 2010-06-01
Character sheet
Name: Peter Kirkland
Callsign: SA_FUD
Assigned Unit: Alpha_Wing
Trinity- Rear Admiral
- Number of posts : 774
Age : 28
Character RP Name : Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign : SCORPION
Registration date : 2012-01-08
Character sheet
Name: Hanzo Hasashi
Callsign: SCORPION
Assigned Unit: Silver Arrows Command
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities, on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had some rather nice red wine.
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.
Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities, on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had some rather nice red wine.
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.
Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
That is GREAT!!
Loyal- Commander
- Number of posts : 210
Age : 36
Character RP Name : OE-254 Loyal AI
Callsign : SA_LOYAL
Registration date : 2010-05-19
Character sheet
Name: OE-254 MKIX
Callsign: SA_LOYAL
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
Re: Joke of the day
For an average man... the Kingdom of Fudland is a dangerous place...
Fuffud- Captain
- Number of posts : 814
Age : 27
Character RP Name : Peter Kirkland
Callsign : SA_FUD
Registration date : 2010-06-01
Character sheet
Name: Peter Kirkland
Callsign: SA_FUD
Assigned Unit: Alpha_Wing
Raiden- Captain
- Number of posts : 435
Age : 43
Character RP Name : Raiden Caprica
Callsign : SA_RAIDEN
Registration date : 2011-04-10
Character sheet
Name: Raiden Caprica
Callsign: SA_RAIDEN
Assigned Unit: -none-
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